My friend Fidan got her German visa yesterday. That made me so happy to read that on her blog. (I have noticed lately I have been reading news from my friends from their blogs only, ah century of technology...let it be always good news, no bad news!!!)
Pepper and me are best friends at home, but I wouldn't say the same when we go outside. I just don't know what to do when she pulls her leash and  gets excited on the street. I'm learning slowly and I guess she's adjusting to me as well. She also doesn't seem interested in doing her toilet business with me. May be she's shy :))) She's always good with Miika- her real owner. I'm new to her so we both have to get used to each other. I love when she follows me around the flat, sits on my lap and sleeps curled up by my side.
Yesterday I finally made apple crumble dessert. It turned out really good but I must admit it's not so healthy. Arzu told me about it when she was in Baku. I bookmarked the recipe and promised myself to make it once I am with Miika. The recipe is super easy and it took less than 15-20 mins to make it. It is adviced to serve it with vanilla ice cream, custard or cream. I have heard about custard so much from Miika. I asked Miika to drive me to the big Tesco to buy cinnamon and custard yesterday evening. He told me to buy Tesco Finest Fresh Custard. After loosing myself yet again in this huge Tesco I thought I found the right custard. I was wrong and Miika had to go and swap it with the right one. After Migros in Turkey this supermarkets seem sooo huge to me. Actually I was always complaining while living in Turkey that they have such a small variety.
While making the apple crumble I used this recipe http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/applecrumble_2971 and they also explain how to make the crumbles http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/techniques/rubbing_in. Another recipe link from food gawker that Arzu used http://peachesanddonuts.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/lovely-apple-crumble.html As usual the only thing I changed was the amount of butter. 200 grams of butter in that recipe seemed a lot to me. I tried to use less butter and next time I'll reduce the amount of sugar. It is an easy and yummy dessert but kind of fattening. Miika just couldn't get enough and asked for more but I was cruel and didn't let him to finish it all at once hahah :))) Custard is something like vanilla pudding and Turkish muhallebi maybe. It has no name in Russian or Turkish. I loved it with the apple crumble but it adds a fair amount of calories. I am comforting myself that we are going to have long walks on Brighton beach this weekend.

Apple crumble with Tesco Custard

***I'll definitely add less sugar next time. I'm advising the same to everyone who wants to try this recipe***
Yesterday people from Croydon Council came to introduce the new food waste recycling service. We are going to have a kitchen caddy for our food waste which will be going to the new food waste container outside. I was actually surprised they didn't have that before. The lady asked me if I'll be using it or not. That was a weird question for me because of course I'd love to use it after they put it in my kitchen. My long awaited dream of recycling comes to reality here :) Back in Turkey I used to collect all my recyclable garbage and take it to Carrefour. It was a very small recycle can so I used to fill it up with my garbage. I did it just after I came back from Norway, inspired with the recycling system. It didn't last too long though, I kind of got lazy to do that all the time. I asked the lady what to do with the plastic packages and bags. She told me to take them to the nearest supermarket or put them with the rest of the garbage. I believe they will have to introduce the plastic recycling as well as soon as possible. Miika told me that the lady probably thought I am a bit crazy asking questions and getting excited about recycling. I am just trying to be a good resident and think about the future of our planet.
***They brought the kitchen caddy 1 day after they came to speak to me. Such a fast service!

As I wrote yesterday I was planning to try Tuba's recipe for poppy seed and lemon muffins. I made them yesterday while Miika and Pepper was sleeping in front of the TV. I have never baked muffins before so I wasn't sure what to expect. They turned out delicious or as I say yummylicious :) Miika loved them as well. Too bad Pepper can't have any.
I almost completely followed her recipe but instead of adding ½ cup of butter I added only 2 tbl spoons. I guess it's less than a half cup. For my measurements I am using a 30p plastic measuring cup from Tesco. Also instead of 6 lemons I used 5. Be careful while grating the lemon zest, and don't end up with scratched fingers like me.

It should have been a cup of tea not a glass of  read wine in the backgroud :)

close up photo of muffins

It took me a while to figure out that powder sugar (pudra şekeri in Turkish, сахарная пудра in Russian) is called icing sugar here. I bought it but at the end decided not to make icing for my muffins because of extra calories. I'll put icing when I have guests, because I think it looks nicer with it.
For yesterday's dinner I made spaghetti bolognese. I don't know if it's the minced meat that we bought from Tesco or generally meat in England tastes weird I'd even say a bit rubbery. Miika loved my spaghetti though and said meat tastes the same as usual. Also we bought frozen garlic bread from Sainsbury's. I tried to slice it but it turns out it was already sliced. What can I do that in this western world everything is ready made. 

Me, Pepper and ladybirds

Although yesterday was just one week since I am in England it feels much longer actually. During this one week I went to London twice with Miika, went to Waterloo station on my own with Miika's directions, bought Oyster card, went to Croydon a few times on my own, found a Turkish shop (now I know where to find köftelik bulgur and turkish olives that Miika likes so much), went to Altrincham to meet Miika's parents and brothers, went to countryside Edale and had a nice day in Manchester. It feels kind of weird to have this super busy life after 6 months of almost doing nothing. So many new things, so many impressions at the same time ...Supermarkets here are huge and there is a big selection of everything, I don't know which one to choose so that it is relatively cheaper and better. I made oat meal cookies and they turned out very nice, a bit different  from what I used to make in Baku. I think probably it is the baking powder or maybe the gas oven. Today I'll try to make poppy seed lemon muffins from Tuba's blog. http://surrealchef.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/recipe-test-with-behice-unal-lemon.html Thanks to Miika's mum now I have a mixer and muffin pans from Tesco :)) Tuba's recipes look very yummy, I'll try to share my experience next time I write my blog. By the way few minutes ago I registered on Spotify. It looks cool I just don't like that it posts every song that I listen to on my facebook timeline.
I forgot to mention the most important thing..now we have Pepper with us  :) She's peacefully sitting on my lap right now. I guess she liked me from the first day, because the first night she slept on my chest and between me and Miika. She is the cutest dog I have ever seen and I am really happy to have her. The only thing that scares me is her toilet arrangements. I hope we don't have little accidents. When we woke up today I gave her little treat, combed her and now we are happily waiting for Miika to come home to take us out. I just love when she sits on my lap like a cat.
By the way our flat is full of ladybugs...ok... I should have said ladybirds :) british version is actually cuter, instead of calling them bugs they call them birds :) they mostly gather around the lamp or just everywhere in our flat.
Today Fidan's husband is going to an interview at the immigration office in Berlin. Hopefully it'll all go well and she'll be with him soon. Ok enough for today I'll go to make lunch now...

am I really in London?

This is my second day in England and I am feeling really tired but at the same time very excited and happy. I feel like if I sleep I'll miss something. Weird because I am actually at home right now :))
Belavia airlines surprised me with punctuality and they managed not to lose my luggage. The only negative side was the Minsk airport which is even worse than Baku aiport. At least we have free wifi and our airport is not as empty as theirs. When I arrived to Gatwick I was nervous that they'll ask me lots of questions at the passport control or even call Miika. This is the bad side of reading russian forums, a lot of people wrote that people at the UK border are very unfriendly. I waited in a long non EU nationals queue with many Americans, Canadians and Belorussians from my flight. When it was my turn I nervously approached very friedly looking woman and she just asked me when we plan to get married, if this is my first time with this visa and also what is my fiancee's name. I answered them and she stamped my passport. Then I went outside to the baggage area and grabbed my 26 kgs, stuffed to maximum, grey suitcase and went through the "nothing to declare" exit. A police dog sniffed my bag for drugs and then I ran to the exit with a big smile on my face. My dear Miika was standing there with a rose. We hugged, kissed and I felt so many emotions at once. Happy to finally see Miika and confused that it was so easy to pass the border control. On the way home the road was so green and beautiful. Half way to Croydon we stopped at a green hill (I'll add the name later) and it was sunny, warm and smelled very nice. Everything here smells different and the sky is so bright blue and the clouds are pure white. We came home and there was a welcome package waiting for me which included the gift cards from my favorite shops, beautiful roses in a beer glass vase :)) and also a present from Miika's grandma. That was all sooo sweet!!
Then we walked to East Croydon train station and bought me a young person's railway card (good that my 26th bday is in june and I could get this discount card). Train and underground look really complicated here, so many perons, stations, underground lines... I am totally confused. My yesterday's imressions after visiting Camden Town, walking in Oxford Street, Picadilly Circus and Covent Garden are that London is very international, crowded, beautiful and has very complicated public transportation system. Compared to London, Istanbul to me looks teeny tiny right now. Walking in London yesterday made me feel like everything is very surreal and I'm in a movie right now. Miika kept making fun of me that I look like a 5 year old. We stumbled upon Laduree shop in the Covent Garden. I tried Laduree for the first time in Bebek shop in Istanbul a year ago. I remember me, Baturalp, Ozge and Mert bought maybe 6 or 8 macarons with different flavours and shared them. It was quite expensive in Istanbul and here 1 macaron was 1.60£. I bought 1 chocolate and orange flavoured. Miika loved them and I dreamt that one day we'll try them in their Paris shop. I've tried macarons in a lot of places but the ones in Laduree taste just heavenly delicious.
By the way I got a bit sick yesterday. I guess it was because of the icy cold water that I drank with the chinese food in Camden Town. The weather was windy and I was already cold and with that iced water I got sick. I'm sure I'll survive...

My dear readers! Sorry for not writing but most of you already know that I got the fiancee visa. I still can't believe that we did it, that we won. I'm really happy at the same time excited, nervous. I can't really describe what I am feeling. On Sunday at 6 a.m. I'm leaving Baku and going for a new life, new beginning with my dear Miika. After I went to study in Turkey and came here only for short periods I felt like I don't belong here at all, I felt like an "alien". At the same time I was foreign in Turkey. As another blogger says "foreign here, foreign there, foreign everywhere". It is probably my destiny to feel foreign throughout my life. It started when I went to US as an exchange student when I was 15 and continues till now. In Turkey it was sometimes annoying because while doing paperwork, dealing with bureaucracy it was usually a pain. Most of the times they didn't know the procedures for foreign nationals, I felt like I'm the only one without Turkish passport in this 70 million country. Other than that it was easy to become friends, to integrate in Turkish society since the language, the culture, mentality is pretty similar. After few years I almost felt like at home. In fact I feel much more comfortable in Turkey than I am here. I'm nervous about the new life but at the same time really excited. I'm scared of doing, saying something wrong, but I hope it all comes with time. I think it would have been much harder if I was alone, but I have the most caring, loving, supportive fiancee in the whole world my Mikushka :) I know I don't speak like a native speaker but I'm not so bad and I believe after a while my English will improve and it won't be a problem. When I went to US I couldn't really understand people with their strong American accent but by the end of my exchange year my cousin told me I picked up the accent pretty quick. The only real problem I'll face is my name. Unfortunately while choosing a name for me my mum didn't think that I'll have kind of "international" life. I'm not even going to start telling you what Americans used to call me. At the end I decided to introduce myself as Meka (my childhood nickname). Miika taught me an international phonetic alphabet and that is what I need to use while spelling my name. In Turkey they use Turkish city names for spelling. So for those of you unfamiliar with this alphabet my name would be Mike- Echo-Hotel- Romeo- India- Bravo- Alpha-November. By the way my kids are definitely going to have short, easy pronounced names. Since Miika calls me Mehri (I really like it) probably in England I'll introduce myself as Mehri, shorter and easier. Miika's little brother calls me Marziban, like marzipan hahaha :)) I think it's very sweet since I love marzipan :) The good thing about my name is that it has a  meaning which is kind and nice in Persian.
I'm really grateful to the British Embassy in Baku for processing my application in exactly 1 month. I applied on February 7th and my visa is valid from March 7th.
I would like to thank Miika's parents, brothers, his grandparents and godparents for supporting us. It really meant so much to me. Secondly  my great friends who wrote to me, asked about the application, supported me and gave me strength. My dear mother who was worried about me all the time, and helped me as much as she could. I want to thank Fidan who came with me to the embassy, without her this waiting period would have been much harder for me. I wish her to get her German visa asap and join her husband. I know how hard it is to wait and how worried she is. At the end I want to thank my beloved fiancee Miika, without his support, care and patience this could never be done.
I used to think I'm unlucky because I got so many rejections lately. The biggest of them was the work permit rejection for Ford. Now this all proved that whatever happens, happens for a good reason. I'm grateful for everything that happened. I had great plans that I'll work in Ford, rent my own place and  have a cat. But I'd be completely alone and sad. I hope I'll find a job in England, maybe not the best one at first, but after some time I believe I'll do good.
I want to continue writing this blog while I'm in England. I'll write my impressions, thoughts and memories. 

Tomorrow it'll be over....On Friday at 16:38 they send me an email that "my application has been processed". I am not even going to describe what state I was in. Good thing Miika had a day off from work so I called him on skype crying from excitement and also I got disappointed that the message they send wasn't "Your visa is ready" because in Russia and Ukraine that's what they sent in 90% of the cases. The night from Friday to Saturday  I didn't sleep till 7 a.m. I almost watched the sunrise, very "romantic". I couldn't fall asleep because of thoughts in my head. Will I get it and be sooo happy or....how I'll tell good news to Miika, to mum to Miika's family. People tell me you should consider the rejection option too. I don't want to... I'll think about it when it is time...I haven't been so nervous in my life. I just called Miika and he is also very nervous and stressed. When I hear him being so sad I thought I have to show myself strong to him in order to cheer him up. Can you imagine us both being sad ..that'll be crazyy... I'll call him one more time before the modem turn of time.
I asked Fidan to come with me tomorrow. They most likely won't let her in with me to the waiting room, but she can wait downstairs. It'll give me strength to know that there is someone waiting to share my news with. Miika told me to tell them that I need moral support so that they let her in. I'll try of course but I don't think it'll work. I'll pray tonight...but it's already decided so even great powers can't change the decision I guess... I don't even know... Yesterday when I went to the Pantomime Theater which is very close to the embassy and I thought to myself that my passport is there right now, I'm so close to it but at the same time can't reach it.
I don't want too much do I? I want us to be together, to be happy and to have a family...

A week ago one of my friends's father passed away and I learned about it by reading her blog. A week earlier she told me in her email that he's ill but was recovering. The news of his death really made me sad even though I didn't know him personally. I hesitated to call her at that moment to give my condolences. I think in a situation like this whatever you say won't make it better or easier for that person. I know from my own experience when I lost my grandparents. I got the courage to call her only by the end of the day. She was in the airport on her way here with her husband to bury her father in his village in the North-Western Azerbaijan. I suddenly remembered how my mother used to tell me that people from that part of the country are more progressive and literate, probably due to the fact that it is close to Georgia. I know in the west there are very different traditions for the funerals but here in the east you need to go to that person's house and give your condolences. I have never done this before in my life so I wasn't sure what to say in general and what to talk about. Even though I think that most of the traditions here have to be "updated", I kind of justify this one. It lets the grieving person to be busy with the people coming to her house and doesn't let her to cry all day long and grieve constantly. I think it kinda eases the pain. My friend and her bother who came later told their childhood memories about their father, how cheerful and fun person he was, how he played on musical instruments without knowing any notes. It all went well and I felt that even though I couldn't really help my friend, at least I was there to share her pain. Today she wrote a new post about her father. After reading I thought that it is so nice that she has such fond memories of her father. He was a great man and she must feel proud to have a father like him, to learn from him. 

Today is an international women's day. I guess no one celebrates this day except post soviet union countries. While living in Turkey usually only communists kind of remembered this day. It doesn't really mean anything for me. It is a tradition here so I must say  Happy Women's Day to all the female readers of this blog.
I'm doing good today, finally finished reading Museum of Innocence. I think I will read russian Boris Akunin's book next. I guess I'm just having mood swings, one day I'm really sad but the next day the sun is shining (actually it snowed last night)  and I'm OK. I'm trying to change my "philosophy of waiting" by thinking only positive things and planning for future. I'm really scared of rejection but when I sit and cry that "what I'll do if I get rejection" just tired me and I'm sure all my readers too. So from now on no sulky posts only happy posts. After all I have a fiance whom I love dearly and who loves me very much. What can be better than that?
I'd like to share one of my favorite songs by Pink Martini- Tuca Tuca. I'm just in love with their singer who can almost sing in every language. I love the song although don't understand a word of it and the video is super cool, again shot in Italy.... We must go there with Miika! (after visiting Finland of course :))

  

...every passing day brings me a little bit closer to my beloved one....is my new motto...ehhh nothing today as usual... I sat in front of my computer almost all day watching Weeds second season, occasionally having some sad moments with myself. I cried so much that at the end I couldn't go to Fidan's concert. Besides it was sooo windy (really cold wind) + president of Georgia came to Baku today so most of the central roads were closed. So I thought better to stay at home instead of going out and getting totally annoyed by being stuck somewhere. I probably look like a grandma sometimes moaning and complaining at everything here. Sorry but I just can't stand silent to the absurdities here.
Today is 29th day since application, it would have been 1 month actually if  february wasn't 28 days this year. It is an important day- March 6th because it has been exactly 6 months since I left Istanbul and I can go to Turkey again since today :)))
To tell the truth it doesn't really cheer me up so much...They have my passport so I'm totally stuck here...
I downloaded too artsy films in last 2 days. I recently learnt that Russian speakers mostly call them art house films. I really liked this expression. One of them is "The Skin I live in" by Almodovar and the other one is French Canadian "Heartbeats". I wanted to watch them for a long time but after downloading them I lost my interest in watching them with english subtitles. My problem is that I can't concentrate on anything right now. Can you believe that I still haven't finished Museum of innocence. I start thinking about something else after reading 2 pages.
***just read in russian forum that some lady applied in Moscow in february 3rd and still waiting. That may sound mean but it makes me happy to know that I'm not the only one waiting for a one month. When people who applied at the same time with me or after me start getting news than it'll be a whole different story... a pretty sad one too! 

I love facebook because it lets me discover so many cool things. Today I discovered a german/swiss band named BOY. The girls look and sound a bit like Canadian singer Feist. I loved their simple video to this cheerful song Little Number. So I immediately thought I need to share this with my readers. It looks like the video was shot in Italy. It is just beautiful! I was actually in a bad mood again this morning. No emails as usual... and today at around 12 p..m when Arzu called me from an unknown number I got so excited and thought it's embassy. One of this days when I get a call from an unknown number I'll probably get a heart attack. Because my heart beats so fast when I answer the phone it seems like it'll jump from my chest...
Dear god and all the other great powers please let me get good news soon before I get totally insane.

Baku

I woke up today and as usual first thing I did was to check my gmail and then read the newsfeed on facebook. One of my friends posted this video and wrote a comment that I thought is such a true description for this video. Unfortunately that's exactly what I think at the moment walking in this city

Where are you? This video clearly shows that at the moment Baku has no spirit, no identity. It is just a collection of various pre-packaged architectural solutions chosen from a catalog by the ruling family. Exactly. when I am walking on the streets, seeing ugly purple London like Taxis, horrendous glass pyramids, kitsch black and gold fountains with little golden angels, skyscrapers that dominate and destroy the amphitheater of the city, this is exactly what I ask myself: "Where the f*** am I? Is this my city? Baku?"

I've been thinking about changing my blog's name but I can't think of anything cool, unique and most importantly available in blogspot. Most of the names that I tried to choose were already taken. I guess I'll have to stick with this name. It looks like a pub's name to me like Adam's, John's :) Oh well...
Thanks to my friend Güldeniz I became famous yesterday. She really liked my post about Istanbul and decided to share it on her facebook page. So today my blog stats are very international... Yaaay to that!
One more week is over and we've got no news from them. Since yesterday I became kind of apathetic to this waiting process. I think it is because I lost all my hope for march, also energy to worry, to suffer, to panic. According to my prediction the earliest I'll get any news from them will be in April. There won't be any presents for me for the International Women's day (March 8) or for Novruz holiday (March 21). So on Novruz I'll be stuffing myself with pakhlavas, shekerburas and shorgogals (some of traditional azeri sweet and savory treats) all alone.
I bought ticket for a play tomorrow in the Pantomime theater in Baku. Fidan advised me to go. I don't remember the last time I went to watch a play, probably it was our school theater group in ITU. Thanks to her I'm having some cultural entertainment in Baku. I went to her second concert in Philarmonic Hall yesterday. I enjoyed this concert more than the previous one. She played one of Vagif Mustafazade's masterpieces with the string orchestra. V. Mustafazade was a genius and he's the reason I'm sometimes proud to be from this country. For the people reading my blog and don't know him I advice to check the youtube videos for his music. He was famous for mixing jazz with traditional azeri folk music- mugham. His music is so beautiful and relaxing. Personally I prefer his music to his daughter's Aziza Mustafazade who is maybe even more famous than her father. March by Vagif Mustafazade....